When were you most scared? Why? How did you respond? How do you wish you would have responded (Author: Mary Churchill)
The kids’ physical heath has been pretty good. I take them to a naturopath and regular doctor to deal with eczema, asthma, concussion, cramps, bumps and bruises; a psychologist to find a way to rationalize their father’s disinterest; a dentist to fix and fill teeth; an optometrist so three out of four myopic children can see and a orthodontist to create pretty smiles. To keep fear at bay, wonderful professionals care them for regularly.
Even though safety issues are primarily things they or I cannot control, there are a number of things I have done in an effort to keep them safe, over and above having them wear their seatbelts and not play with matches.
Judgment is something learned only by making mistakes. It is a very hard thing as a parent to knowingly allow your children to go out and make mistakes. I hover from a distance, fingers crossed, and try to keep still when they fall. They get themselves up and ask for help and a hug. I give both willingly. All of my children know I’m here for them always and will forgive them anything but their silence.
Bullying is rampant and out of my control. What I can do is make sure my children are never the bully. At the very least, I expect them to behave well and not torment anyone, ever; at best, I expect them to defend anyone in the position of being oppressed or persecuted. Sadly, each of my children have been on the receiving end, to varying degrees, of the cruelty imposed by peers. Earlier this year it got to the point that a lawyer was hired and conversations were had with the school and with the police. It was not good and it seemed, for a time, endless. It was a tremendous learning experience and I fully support their efforts at resilience. It makes me sad that it is necessary but all I can be is supportive and positive.
All I can do with my fear is face it. Head on.