I regret little, but in looking back I am disappointed at my not participating in a reflection project for 2011. That year was so excruciating and painful and joyful and liberating and full that it is very much a blur of change. I should have recorded some part of it - though a peek into my December Daily 2011 will certainly give an indication to why the project did not get completed!

I enjoyed participating in reverb10 which resulted in a beautiful blog, a wonderful keepsake album and a collection of incredible memories - fully recorded. For 2010, I will always remember where I was and where I was planning on going. I want to go through that same exercise again for 2012. This past year was equally worth remembering.

Not that I have an abundance of time this year, but I do have a great desire, so that will have to do! I have curated a number of prompts from many resources. Those I've selected can be found below as well as a few of my own, they have each been attributed as best I can.

04 December 2012

day four | fear

prompt: fear

When were you most scared? Why? How did you respond? How do you wish  you would have responded (Author: Mary Churchill) 

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Except for the health and safety of my children, I do not fear much. After all, you can only fear what you can control. To fear what you can’t control is ridiculous.

The kids’ physical heath has been pretty good. I take them to a naturopath and regular doctor to deal with eczema, asthma, concussion, cramps, bumps and bruises; a psychologist to find a way to rationalize their father’s disinterest; a dentist to fix and fill teeth; an optometrist so three out of four myopic children can see and a orthodontist to create pretty smiles. To keep fear at bay, wonderful professionals care them for regularly.

Even though safety issues are primarily things they or I cannot control, there are a number of things I have done in an effort to keep them safe, over and above having them wear their seatbelts and not play with matches.

Judgment is something learned only by making mistakes. It is a very hard thing as a parent to knowingly allow your children to go out and make mistakes. I hover from a distance, fingers crossed, and try to keep still when they fall. They get themselves up and ask for help and a hug. I give both willingly. All of my children know I’m here for them always and will forgive them anything but their silence.

Bullying is rampant and out of my control. What I can do is make sure my children are never the bully. At the very least, I expect them to behave well and not torment anyone, ever; at best, I expect them to defend anyone in the position of being oppressed or persecuted. Sadly, each of my children have been on the receiving end, to varying degrees, of the cruelty imposed by peers. Earlier this year it got to the point that a lawyer was hired and conversations were had with the school and with the police. It was not good and it seemed, for a time, endless. It was a tremendous learning experience and I fully support their efforts at resilience. It makes me sad that it is necessary but all I can be is supportive and positive.

All I can do with my fear is face it. Head on. 


  1. Thoughty stuff, Lee. I agree wholeheartedly that fear-full or fear-filled occurrences in Life are great teachers. And it sounds like you're a darned good one yourself!!

    Here's my take for today...

  2. I think you hit this one head on, once again. As Mothers, the word fear instantly takes us to our children and their health and well being, because i think if it didn't, we'd not be doing our jobs, eh? you continue to amaze me. mentor me? ;)