I regret little, but in looking back I am disappointed at my not participating in a reflection project for 2011. That year was so excruciating and painful and joyful and liberating and full that it is very much a blur of change. I should have recorded some part of it - though a peek into my December Daily 2011 will certainly give an indication to why the project did not get completed!

I enjoyed participating in reverb10 which resulted in a beautiful blog, a wonderful keepsake album and a collection of incredible memories - fully recorded. For 2010, I will always remember where I was and where I was planning on going. I want to go through that same exercise again for 2012. This past year was equally worth remembering.

Not that I have an abundance of time this year, but I do have a great desire, so that will have to do! I have curated a number of prompts from many resources. Those I've selected can be found below as well as a few of my own, they have each been attributed as best I can.

01 December 2012

day one | one word

prompt: one word

Encapsulate the year 2012 in one word. Explain why you're choosing that word. Now, imagine it's one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2013 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell) 

+ + + + + 

There were a whole series of words that could encapsulate our last year: redefine, re-evaluate, flux, connect, variable, improve, new, change, unsettled, challenge, erratic, fickle, fluid, unpredictable, random, capricious, variable and more. I settled on REPAIR as it really does represent the major areas of our life in 2012.

Family: through the duration of my marriage, my relationship with my extended family became increasingly distant. Louis was so plainly uncomfortable around all of them and I was a coward and chose to acquiesce rather than argue. As a result the kids are not familiar with the dynamics, and barely know all of the players, on my side of their family tree. Between Facebook, Skype, and everyone having a personal phone number, that distance has been bridged and every effort has been made to improve, indeed repair, long neglected family ties. This was highlighted by our incredible welcome at our Maritime Thanksgiving. Such effort, kindness and acceptance was heartwarming and appreciated. Unfortunately my children seem to be destined to be embraced by only one side of their family at a time as their paternal side appear content to let their connections fall apart. Indeed months go by between calls to the kids from their dad – who has the same advantages in the form of Skype, Facebook and cellular numbers but chooses not to use any of them. At this one thing I have failed to repair after numerous wasted attempts. At the kids’ insistence I have given up.

Personal: due to ongoing concussions, and fear of further damage, both of my boys stopped participating in contact sports: there will be no more rugby, football or hockey. They have agreed to find other distractions. It will also give Cole a chance to heal from a concussion sustained in Spring of 2011 which continues to hang on and for Caden to heal from a myriad of bumps and bruises sustained at football. Claire continues to take very good care of herself, making healthy choices while at school –food, friends and activities. Her repair was more personal - of the expectation and anxiety variety. She’s come a long way and I’m very proud. ChloĆ© provides me with more of a battle as her lifestyle is more sedentary, some food choices are terrible and friend-drama is typically teenage! All of this has to change! Otherwise, her  current repair comes in the form of braces. As for me, I continue to search for answers to my thyroid and B12 issues. Based on a year of focused consideration and planning, I’ve made some really helpful discoveries about myself and what I need to make a more full and healthy life for myself. Certainly recent decisions will have me move more in a way that is true to me, in a way that will engage and challenge me rather than in a “trendy” or expected manner. I’m no longer waiting for the stars to align. I am just starting. And when I stop I will start over again. I hope to continue repairing the damage I’ve done to myself through neglect and disease.

Home: this was the year of the house repair. The good news is I have finally found a reliable and local plumber. The bad news is he spends far too much time in my house! I happily had a full size washer and dryer installed in the upstairs laundry only to have it leak! Plenty of damage was done, and repaired. Another contractor was hired to deal with the front of our house – it was rotting from the inside out because when it was built 10+ years ago the flashing was installed upside-down. Whenever it rained, water came in and the pilings were rotting – since day one. Significant and expensive damage was done, and repaired. Finally (I hope!) a leak was discovered in my kitchen caused by the shower in the main bathroom. It had to be ripped out. It became a major project. As much as I might love it, water is not my friend.

Moving into 2013, my hope is to reap the rewards of all of the effort expended on the completed and in-progress repairs of 2012. Such incredible strides have been made these past few high energy, changing and challenging years. I can only hope moving forward, we continue to be fully engaged with each other and explore further our family, personal choices and home in HARMONY and grace.

May 2013 be guided by HARMONY.


  1. Hi Lee,
    I enJOYed this list that I found via another artist's post last week. I just posted http://becurrie.blogspot.com/2012/12/1-december-2012-month-of-reflection.html and will look forward to reading you and I hope others as the month unfolds!!

    1. Such great words and thoughts are filling the internet. This is such a wonderful project. Keep linking up :)